


Polarized

by Wimmy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe - High School, Anyways, Big Brother Taeyong, Cheesy, Jealousy, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung Being an Asshole, M/M, Mentions of Panic Attacks, Romance, Teenage Drama, Underage Drinking, basically Donghyuck's mom, for like five seconds - Freeform, idk what else, kind of, mentions of abuse, more characters to be added i guess, more like I just moved them around to my liking, oh and guess what, oh fuck, sorry y'all, thank you, uhh
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-15
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2019-11-18 05:59:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18114722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wimmy/pseuds/Wimmy
Summary: Taeyong is the new kid at school, and Doyoung doesn't like him. Taeyong tries his best to get along, but Doyoung is stubborn. Different things slowly bring them together, but how close is too close for the both of them?This is a cheesy, self-indulgent HS AU fic that I've been losing sleep over, so I hope you all enjoy it lol





	1. Chapter 1: It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, welcome to Polarized. I've been working on it instead of my homework, so please, give me some comments and Kudos! If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and enjoy the story! Thank you

The school was buzzing that morning. Some rumor of a new kid was flitting around, spreading curiosity wherever it went. The school wasn’t known for accepting students this late in the year, so whoever he was, he must’ve been important. For Doyoung, none of that really mattered. He just wanted to have a quiet, normal morning. He didn’t care about any new kid who pulled strings to get into the school when everyone else worked hard to get there. 

Walking into AP Literature, he saw there was an uneven amount of desks in the room. One was added, right next to his. He groaned internally, not exactly thrilled to be in the same class as the new kid. He sat down in his seat and pulled out his classwork. He’d just focus on his work instead of thinking about that kid. So, he got to reading, and when the bell rang, the teacher walked in. 

“Good morning everyone, I hope you all enjoyed your weekend, we’re getting to work immediately.” She said, a chorus of groans and sighs followed. “Before we do that though, I’d like to introduce you all to our new classmate.”

She looked over at the door and motioned for someone to come into the classroom. The boy that walked into the classroom was… ethereal. He was tall, had a head of silver hair that was faded at the roots, and he was undoubtedly handsome. Somehow, he made their ugly school uniform look decent. 

“Everyone, this is your new classmate Taeyong Lee. I expect you’ll all welcome him, he’s come from halfway across the globe to come here,” The teacher continued, “Mr. Lee, you can have a seat next to Doyoung Kim over there.”

Hearing his name, Doyoung raised his hand. He made eye contact with Taeyong for a brief moment. His eyes might’ve been big and round, but they were cold and full of arrogance. It was right then and there that Doyoung decided he didn’t like this Taeyong kid. 

When Taeyong had taken his seat, the teacher turned to Doyoung. 

“Mr. Kim, since you two have very similar schedules, I’d like for you to show him around and help him get to his classes, okay? Good, let’s start now.”

Doyoung could feel a headache coming on. First this kid just has to be in his first class, but now he’s got to keep tabs on him? It was unbelievable. There could’ve been someone else, anyone else, that could do it. He was too busy and too annoyed to take care of the new kid right now. If he wanted to help new students, he would’ve joined the Welcome Committee. There wasn’t any time for him to be griping about it, so he got to work. 

To Doyoung’s surprise, Taeyong kept up during class. His notes were intricate, color coded and neat. He’d also answered several of the teacher’s questions during the lesson. Doyoung would give him credit for having the decency to actually do the work when he’d weaseled his way in. He knew plenty of kids who’d done the same but didn’t even care to participate. In all honesty, it really bothered him. He’d worked hard to get here, even if he was naturally intelligent. The sleepless nights studying for entrance exams and writing papers got him here, not asking Mommy and Daddy to get him into this school because he really really really wants to go there. He’d thrive off his own hard work and not take any favors to get where he wanted to be. 

When the bell rang, the class filed out, except Doyoung and Taeyong. He wasn’t keen on making friends so he’d make it quick. 

“So Taeyong, sorry to say, but I’m really busy and don’t have time to show you around or anything, but I can help you get to your classes.” He said, throwing his bag on his shoulder. 

Taeyong shrugged. “That’s fine.”

“So what class do you have next?” Doyoung asked. He was only the slightest bit annoyed at the curt response.

“My schedule says Advanced Music Performance.” Taeyong said. 

Doyoung frowned. “Chamber Choir? I’m headed there, too, so just follow me and try not to get lost.”

He turned too quick to see if Taeyong’s expression changed from the solid frown he’d had on since he’d gotten here, focused on getting to class. The walk there was a maze of crowded, winding halls Doyoung was sure Taeyong would get lost in. So, he periodically glanced over his shoulder to see if the boy was still following him. He was, which Doyoung guessed was good. 

When they got to the choir room, the director Ms. King was sitting at the piano, humming one of their songs while everyone got situated. She looked over at Doyoung and Taeyong, beaming at the two. 

“Well hello Doyoung! I’m guessing this is Taeyong?” She said. Taeyong dipped his head in greeting. 

“Good morning, Ms. King. Yes it is.” Doyoung said, leaving the two of them to talk. He set his bag against the wall and pulled out his folder. It was already full and it was only two months into the school year. The late bell rang and everyone took their seats. 

“Alright everyone, good morning to you all! We have a new Baritone joining us today, his name is Taeyong Lee. Before I hear anything, yes I know this is an auditioned choir. Taeyong here came from a higher level choir than our Chamber choir here, so I automatically placed him in our highest level choir.” Ms. King explained. Taeyong didn’t really seem affected by the murmurs going around the group as he stood with Ms. King. 

“Go ahead and have a seat between Aidan and Doyoung, Taeyong, I’ll have you sit next to the Tenors until I can see where you fit in.” Ms. King gestured for him to sit. Taeyong did so, picking up the folder that was sitting in his seat. Class continued like normal, they warmed up for a good few minutes and then jumped right into the music. 

Ms. King didn’t slow down for Taeyong the whole class. She picked off where they’d left off, which was pretty far. They pretty much learned all three of their pieces, so Taeyong would be left to learn the pieces himself. Since he was so great, it wouldn’t take him long anyway. 

Rehearsal went smoothly enough. Taeyong didn’t make any mistakes from what Doyoung heard, but he was singing so quietly he couldn’t really tell; but he could tell that Taeyong wouldn’t be sitting next to him for long. His voice was light and low, whereas Doyoung’s was higher and more bold. Plus, he didn’t think their voices blended very well anyway. It was just a matter of time before Ms. King realized it and did something about it. 

Right before the bell rang while they were packing up Ms. King reminded them of their solos. 

“Don’t forget to pick a song for your solos at the end of the quarter, everyone. Remember, I don’t want Jazz or Pop if you can help it. Pick something that showcases what you’ve been working on in class whether it be tone, diction, or musicality.” 

Doyoung nodded to himself, making a mental note to pick his song as soon as possible. 

The bell rang, and the two were off again. Taeyong had to go off to AP Statistics while Doyoung had to go to his Korean class. He told Taeyong how to get to his class and half heartedly wished him good luck. Hopefully, that would be the last he’d see of Taeyong for the day. No more seeing that expressionless, arrogant face of his would do wonders for him right now. 

Luckily for Doyoung, his class had the first lunch shift so he went straight to the cafeteria. He was waved over by Kun and Sicheng when he walked through the door. Plopping down, he ran a hand through his hair and sighed. 

“What’s wrong, Doyoung? Something happen?” Kun asked. 

“The new kid, that’s what happened. I can’t stand him.” Doyoung replied. Kun and Sicheng looked at him, both confused. 

“What do you mean? He can’t be that bad.” Kun said. Doyoung laughed at that. 

“Well for one, he joined late? That’s never happened before. Did he even have to take the exams? Secondly, he’s so arrogant. The way he looks at people and just exudes an attitude of ‘I think i’m better than everyone else’ gets on my nerves.” 

Kun rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you’re not reading into him too much? He just got here. Maybe he’s the cold, nervous type.”

“Sure. Just wait, he’ll be hanging out with those douchey rich kids in no time.” Doyoung huffed. Just thinking about that annoyance made his head hurt, so he decided to busy himself with work. All three of them were in Korean together, so they all went over the homework. 

Halfway through lunch, Jungwoo joined them along with Lucas. He draped an arm over Doyoung, sighing dramatically. 

“Youngie, I need help. I need a model for my project in Fashion Design. Can you do it?” He asked, leaning his head on Doyoung’s shoulder. 

Doyoung huffed. “You know I’m too busy to do anything like that right now. Why don’t you ask Lucas. He’s always hanging around you anyway.”

“He’s too tall. I need someone who’s average height,” Jungwoo whined, “This is a code red, Youngie, c’mon.”

The code red Jungwoo was talking about was one of their childhood emergency codes. Red meant they needed help and the other had to drop everything and help no matter what. Yellow meant that it wasn’t urgent, but they’d need help pretty soon. Green was casual. They might need help, but they’re in no rush. 

“I’m pretty sure needing a model isn’t code red material. Only if you were in Milan and one of your models suddenly couldn’t make it and there was no one else who could do. Plus, you know false alarms--”

“Get best friend privileges taken away.” Jungwoo finished, rolling his eyes. He dropped the model thing and started talking about how the Fashion Design teacher was asking way too much for the second month of school. Last year it was just studying design and occasionally making clothing, but this year it was project after project, outfit after outfit. Doyoung told Jungwoo that he shouldn’t complain because he’s the one who decided to take the class in the first place. 

“Hmm… you’re right, but what else am I supposed to do? Be thankful for all the stress he’s handing me? No thanks.” Jungwoo grinned. Doyoung cracked a smile, shaking his head. Lucas on Jungwoo’s other side whispered something to Kun and Sicheng in Mandarin, causing the both of them to burst out laughing. Jungwoo and Doyoung looked at each other, shrugging. 

The bell rang, and Jungwoo peeled away from them with Lucas, calling out goodbye as they walked away. 

Their Korean class wasn’t anything different than normal, thank god. Mr. Park went over the homework, assigned them some reading and left them to work on their work. Doyoung, Kun, and Sicheng were crowded at a desk, working on their paper that was due at the end of the week. They chatted occasionally, asking for opinions and talking about school events. 

Homecoming was coming next month, so of course spirit week was being planned at the moment. Last year’s spirit week was… a disaster to say the least. The student council picked really weird themes, like fruit day and animal day. There really wasn’t much to do with the themes they picked. The most Doyoung saw for fruit day was a pineapple printed tie. As for Homecoming, Doyoung wasn’t really interested. He went with his friends Freshman year, but Sophomore year he decided it wasn’t worth it. Walking around the school gym with crappy music blasting the hell out of his ears definitely wasn’t what he called a good time. Kun was trying to persuade him to go with him and Sicheng just to keep an eye out for Sicheng’s brother, Chenle. That kid could get up to trouble even if he was locked in a padded room. Of course, Doyoung had better things to be doing than going to babysit Chenle at a school dance, so he declined. 

They lost track of time and when the bell rang, they scrambled to get their things together so they wouldn’t be late for their next classes. Doyoung said his goodbyes and quickly made his way to Calculus. Just like the last class, time flew by while he was taking notes and doing his work. He was just glad his day ended without anymore annoyances than normal.

-

Taeyong was exhausted. The trip from Seoul really drained him and he wasn’t exactly happy to be going to a new school his parents just shipped him and his brother off to. He also wasn’t expecting his arrival to be such a big deal, so the attention he was getting tore into his energy he’d thought he didn’t need for the day. To make things more interesting, he was put into the hands of Doyoung, a boy who’d be even more good looking than he already was if he wasn’t glaring at him for just breathing. He didn’t know what his deal was, but it didn’t really bother him. He’d just have to deal with it just like he had to deal with everything else. 

To be honest, even though he seemed to be unaffected by the constant whispering around him, he was nervous beyond belief; but not really for himself. He was more worried about his younger brother, Donghyuck. He was… different and people were bound to talk about him, but with the constant talk, Taeyong was worried about how Donghyuck would be with all the malicious talk floating around. 

He’d resigned himself to not worrying about it when he met Johnny Seo. Johnny was like a ray of sunshine. Not quite like his brother, but refreshing and relaxing. Johnny had sat with him in AP Stats, getting to know him and making conversation. He was very laid back, but incredibly brilliant at the same time. Taeyong really wasn’t sure why he chose Stats over some other mathematics he could actually understand, but he did. Johnny was a great help the whole class. He even tried to catch Taeyong up on the last 4 units he’d missed. When they parted ways, Taeyong left with Johnny’s number and a friend. He wasn’t expecting to have any of those the first week of school. After Johnny, it was Yuta. 

Taeyong had walked into AP Japanese and was expected to introduce himself to the class, which he did and was sat down next to the boy. The teacher partnered them up for an interview project they’d be working on in class. At first, Yuta had assumed that Taeyong was one of those students who was just in class to be in class, speaking to him in English and not really talking to him. Taeyong was sure he seemed that way because he was silently trying to grasp what they were working on. When he finally did, he actually started talking with Yuta. He seemed taken aback for a moment, but happily answered all of Taeyong’s questions, and even made conversation. Yuta was really bubbly, even if he didn’t look the type. His smile was blinding and his personality too enthusiastic for the stone cold, expressionless face he wore when Taeyong first saw him. Surprisingly, they finished the project and had fun while doing it. Halfway through class, they were released to go have lunch. Yuta invited Taeyong to sit with him and his friends, which he was incredibly thankful for. His original plan was to just sit in a stairwell by himself until their shift was over. 

Yuta, it turned out, was also friends with Johnny. Not that he would let it show, Taeyong was a bit excited to see him. There were a few other boys at the table, including his brother. Jaehyun, Taeil, and Mark welcomed him to their group. Donghyuck was ecstatic, sticking to Taeyong’s side in an instant, talking about everything that happened so far and how he was loving it. Mark, Johnny’s younger brother, was already getting along with him, even though he’s ‘an absolute nerd’. Taeyong had an enjoyable lunch, happy that Donghyuck was enjoying himself. Jaehyun and Taeil turned out to be interesting, too. Taeil was a really quiet, closed off guy, but apparently he was a killer soloist. Jaehyun was your typical jock. Played sports all year round and was popular with just about everyone, but he wasn’t a jerk. He was kind, soft spoken and sincere. Taeyong honestly could not have asked for a better first day at a school he didn’t even want to go to. 

After lunch and third period ended, Taeyong was headed to AP Bio. It wasn’t something he was particularly fond of, but he decided to give it a try. As long as he didn’t even have to look at another Chemistry textbook ever again, he’d take any science. 

When the final bell of the day rang, Donghyuck was glued to Taeyong’s side as they walked to Taeyong’s car. He was talking about Chenle, the Tenor that sat next to him. He kept going on and on about how great his voice was. Taeyong just listened. He kept listening until they got home, where he told Donghyuck to get washed up so they could make dinner and get some rest. Dinner went by fast with Donghyuck going over every single little detail he could of his day. The most memorable thing Taeyong could recall was Mark and Donghyuck bumping into each other and nearly giving each other concussions. Taeyong sent Donghyuck to his room so he could get rested up. 

Taeyong tiredly flopped down onto his mattress, gazing up at the freshly painted white ceiling. He had a good day, even if it didn’t start so smooth. Friends were made, classes were conquered, and his brother was having a good time. The only thing that could make it better was if that Doyoung guy stopped being so standoffish. He knew it was fair to not be so keen on showing the new kid around, but he didn’t have to be so… so rude about it. 

Taeyong rolled over on his side, curling around one of his many pillows. He wouldn’t let it bother him. He’s gone through worse and one rude boy wasn’t going to stop him from making the best of a shitty situation. 

A knock and the sound of his door opening brought him out of his thoughts. 

“Hyung can I sleep with you tonight, this house is too big.” Donghyuck said, padding over to Taeyong’s side. 

He scooted over to make room. “Sure, Hyuck.”

Soon enough, they were both fast asleep.


	2. Chapter 2: Friends...?

It was Taeyong’s third week, and things were going way smoother than he could’ve ever imagined. Donghyuck managed to integrate himself into Mark’s friend group. He’s happy. Taeyong was keeping up with his classes and he’d made friends. For himself, that was a great accomplishment. Everything was going great; except, things with Doyoung haven’t subsided. 

He genuinely tried to lessen the tension between the two of them. He actively tried to interact with Doyoung during class, asking him questions about their work and trying to just initiate conversation. He was shot down every single time. Taeyong tried his best to be the peacemaker, but Doyoung seemed to be unwilling to take his peace offerings; however, he knew Doyoung was putting up a front. 

They had lunch together during Music Theory, and Taeyong saw how he interacted with his friends. It seemed like he couldn’t stop laughing when he was around them. He was beaming, and his smile was more brilliant than the sun. It was warm, dazzling, but most importantly, it was real. Happiness looked great on him. The way his eyes became sparkling crescents drew Taeyong in like a moth to a flame. It was dangerous how attractive Doyoung was, and Taeyong’s defenses were failing. It had been awhile since he was so distracted like this. He had his brother to worry about, and school to keep up with. Distractions weren’t allowed. Yet, something about Doyoung made him alluring, different from everyone else. Maybe it was because he was different. He didn’t throw himself at Taeyong like almost everyone else did. There was space between them. A line that he didn’t cross. Taeyong still wasn’t sure why, though. Since the day he met Doyoung, it was an endless game of trying to find some common ground, or something that would get him to warm up; They saw each other everyday, so he wanted to get along. Taeyong wasn’t sure what would get Doyoung to open up, but he’d try his best to find out.

In AP World History, the both of them were sat side by side, working quietly. It was a more stressful day for Taeyong, who had all of his most difficult classes on one day. He was content to just work on his assignments without distraction. Doyoung was scribbling away at two different papers at once, scrunching his nose in concentration. It was cute, but not even a second later, he was glaring at Taeyong. So, he looked back at his own work. Some unnecessary research they were doing before a project. Comparing several different religions from around the world and making some sort of diagram showcasing that information. Of course, they’d done notes on the options they were given, so Taeyong was perplexed as to why they’d have to do additional research, but he did it anyway. 

Right before class ended, their teacher announced the pairs and groups he’d be assigning for the project. Much to his distaste, Taeyong was paired up with Doyoung once again. Doyoung didn’t seem any more excited than he did, so he guessed the feeling was mutual. 

As they walked to Music Theory together, Taeyong tried to be the peacemaker again. 

“Hey, do you wanna work on the project after school? I know we both want to get it done as soon as possible. You can come over to mine if you want.” He offered. He waited for Doyoung’s sarcastic response, which he got. 

“Sure, let’s get it over with I guess.” He said, not even looking at Taeyong. He wasn’t surprised, and just kept walking. 

When the final bell rang, Taeyong waited as Doyoung spoke to their teacher. While he was waiting, he texted Donghyuck to tell him that they’d have a guest over tonight. Doyoung walked over just as he pocketed his phone. 

“So, how are we gonna do this. I know you drive, but I also drive.” Doyoung said, walking towards the door. 

“Well, I could text you my address or you could just follow me, whichever you prefer.” Taeyong replied. Doyoung remained silent for a minute as they made their way outside. 

“I’ll follow.”

They split, going to their respective vehicles. Donghyuck was waiting for Taeyong, leaned up against the passenger’s side door. 

“Hyung what do you mean we’re having a guest over?” He said once Taeyong was in earshot. 

Taeyong unlocked the door and slid inside. “I mean my classmate is coming over to work on something with me.” 

“Oh,” Donghyuck said, “Who is it?”

“My classmate Doyoung. I don’t think I’ve talked about him before.” Taeyong replied, starting the car and backing out of the parking space. He was looking for Doyoung, who didn’t even tell him what his car looked like. A car horn blared behind them. He looked in the mirror, ready to move, when he saw Doyoung. He was waving an arm outside of his lime green Fiat. Taeyong waved back and started driving. 

Their house wasn’t far from the school, but it wasn’t close enough to walk either. The neighborhood had towering, expensive homes. Taeyong wasn’t really sure why his parents thought they’d need to live in such a place. He would’ve been content with just a tiny apartment for himself and Donghyuck. 

After they’d both parked, they went inside. Taeyong told Donghyuck to work on his homework while Doyoung and himself worked on their project. He showed a quiet Doyoung up to his room and waited for him to get settled. Taeyong asked if he wanted anything, like a proper host. 

“Anything is fine, thanks.” Doyoung said, nodding at Taeyong. He briskly walked out his room and down to the kitchen. That was maybe the most polite thing Doyoung has ever said to him. He grabbed a few drinks from the fridge, not sure what Doyoung would want, and a bag of chips from the pantry. He rushed back upstairs. Doyoung was already sketching a diagram on their paper. Taeyong gave Doyoung the drinks and chips, immediately sitting down and getting to work. 

Much to his surprise, Doyoung was making conversation with him. He was asking questions like, “Did you really come from halfway across the world to come here,” and, “How long have you been in choir?” While Taeyong intrigued by Doyoung’s sudden change, he was happy to actually be talking with him. So naturally, as one does, Taeyong let himself get swept away in the conversation. He answered Doyoung’s questions and asked some of his own. That’s how he learned that Doyoung was a prodigy, skipping straight to high school after the 6th grade. Doyoung said when he heard the news, he picked out the school himself. A few exams and essays later, he was a freshman at 13. He also was invited to come audition for the state’s Fine Arts summer program several times in the last two years.

They were finally reaching some middle ground; Taeyong couldn’t be happier. 

Half an hour later, their diagram was almost finished, and the sun was setting. 

“Do you have to get home soon?” Taeyong asked. 

“Not really, but I can go if it’s getting late.” Doyoung replied. He was already putting his stuff in his bag. 

“No no, it’s fine I was just wondering. You could stay for dinner if you’d like, too.” 

Doyoung paused, looking up at Taeyong. “Would your parents be okay with that?” 

Taeyong groaned internally. He was hoping they wouldn’t have to talk about his parents, but here they were. 

“That’s not a problem. They’re not here.” Taeyong said. He was trying to busy himself with adding details to their diagram, but Doyoung pushed. 

“Oh, are they out right now?” He asked. 

Taeyong shook his head. “N… No they don’t live with us.” 

“Oh,” Doyoung breathed, “So it’s just you and your brother then.”

Taeyong nodded. He could feel Doyoung’s eyes on him, but he didn’t look back at him. He was getting nervous. This was the kind of stuff he didn’t want to talk about, but… Doyoung was actually opening up to him. He could take a chance.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Doyoung said. Taeyong looked up at Doyoung, looking him directly in the eyes. 

“No it’s fine, I’m just… kinda nervous. I don’t talk about them very often.” 

Doyoung was about to say something, but the door opened, and Donghyuck’s curly head of hair peeked inside. “Hyung, should I make dinner tonight?”

“No, i’ll do it. Keep working on your homework, Hyuck.” Taeyong said. Donghyuck flashed a peace sign before shutting the door. Taeyong stood up and stretched, tired from sitting for such a long time.

He looked down at Doyoung, smiling. “Wanna keep me company while I cook?” 

-

Doyoung was sat at the counter, watching Taeyong walk around the kitchen, cooking something he could only guess was something he’d eat back in Korea. 

Besides being distracted by Taeyong’s movement, he was thinking about how Taeyong reacted when he’d mentioned his parents. He had a mixture of emotion on his face. Hurt, anger, and sadness all at once. It looked like he really needed to get it off his mind. 

“You know… you looked troubled earlier, Taeyong,” Doyoung said, “When I mentioned your parents. If you wanna talk about it, you can.”

He paused.

“Hm, well,” Taeyong hummed, “I guess I could. I’ve never told anyone before.”

“They’re just really emotionally distant. They didn’t pay me much attention when I was a child, and it was even worse when Hyuck was born. They seemed so preoccupied with him, it was like I never existed. I thought they were going to keep focusing all their attention on Hyuck, but when he turned 8, they stopped caring for him. They left him with me and took off. The only times they’d contact was for dropping off our expenses. I was content to just raise Hyuck on my own; I could do it, I had to. So it was me and Hyuck for the last few years, but suddenly right after the school year ended, they came to visit us.

They didn’t even say anything beforehand. They didn’t really specify, but they said the found somewhere better for us to be, somewhere better for Donghyuck. I was really hesitant, but I didn’t have a choice. If I stepped out of line, they’d cut us off. Leave me and Hyuck to fend for ourselves. I couldn’t do that to him, so we moved here. I convinced them to let me handle our school business because if they dealt with it, they’d stop Hyuck from doing what he wants. They did that the first few years Hyuck was with me. No music, no art, nothing he wanted to do. So, I took care of it so that Hyuck could enjoy his time in high school. We moved here just last month. I had to get everything together myself, so we just started last week. I wanted to start when the school year started, but there wasn’t enough time. It’s just… It’s just really complicated, our situation, but I’m trying to make the best of it. ”

Doyoung was silent. He’d fucked up big time.

He’d been a complete asshole to Taeyong when he was going through all of that. Judged him without a second thought. It was selfish of him to do that. He thought he was being inconvenienced, but that was far from the truth. He was just thinking of himself instead of just making things easier on Taeyong. Even if he wasn’t going through all that, it wouldn’t have cost him anything to just be nice to the new kid. Doyoung was regretting his rash decision and knew he’d have to turn things around. It was the least he could do for Taeyong. 

“Taeyong… I’m… I’m sorry.” Doyoung whispered. His eyes dropped down to the counter.

Taeyong frowned. “No, it has nothing to do with you--”

“No, I’m apologizing for being just shitty and a complete asshole. I really don’t know why I was so selfish, just judging you without even giving you a chance.” Doyoung sighed. He looked up. Taeyong was leaning on the counter right in front of him. Their eyes met. 

“Doyoung. Thank you.” Taeyong breathed. He had an actual smile on his face. A genuine, sincere smile. Somehow, his hand was in Taeyong’s. Taeyong was literally glowing, looking happier than ever. His face was getting warm. He seriously could've shut down right then and there. 

Thankfully, Donghyuck walked into the kitchen, distracting Taeyong. Doyoung took his hand back and looked over at Donghyuck, too. 

“What’s for dinner, Hyung?” He yawned. 

“Kimchi stew. It’s all I could think of.” Taeyong said, ruffling Donghyuck’s hair. The two kept chatting while Doyoung tried to calm down.

There was no way he was so flustered over just a look and the touch of a hand. He was Kim Doyoung, honor roll student, 4.5 GPA academics driven prodigy. He didn’t have time for feelings and having crushes, especially not on pretty, rich boys like Taeyong. It was just an overreaction, of course. Taeyong was just being nice, like any normal human being would be. Nothing less, nothing more than that. 

“Hey, Doyoung, you can go ahead and move to the dining room. Hyuck is gonna set the table.” Taeyong said, disturbing Doyoung’s mental gymnastics. 

“Actually, I think I should go. I don’t want to disturb you guys.” Doyoung said, getting up. Taeyong stopped him. 

“No no, it’s fine. It’s already late and dinner’s basically ready, so… won’t you stay?” He asked. 

Doyoung was panicking. He really needed to get out of there, but Taeyong was asking so nicely and just trying to be a good host. He couldn’t deny him that. 

“Okay… I’ll stay.” He sighed. Taeyong looked ecstatic, not making the situation any better. He grabbed Doyoung’s arm and sat him in the dining room. He informed Doyoung that everything would be ready soon, and left. 

Not a minute later, Donghyuck and Taeyong walked in carrying dishes and pots, respectively. A bowl of rice, a fork, and a pair of chopsticks were set in front of him. He was then handed a bowl of kimchi stew, which he would have to admit, was pretty damn good. 

Dinner was anything but quiet, with Donghyuck bombarding him with questions and constantly chatting with Taeyong. Donghyuck had way too many stories to tell for one night. Something about Chenle breaking equipment in science, a kid in his PE class wearing an iridescent tracksuit, and a girl not knowing the word for hello in Mandarin. There were others, but Doyoung couldn’t keep up. Donghyuck talked a mile a minute. Taeyong was keeping up with him, though. There was a response for everything Donghyuck said, sandwiched in between bright laughs and smiles. It was endearing to watch. 

After they’d all finished, Donghyuck disappeared and Taeyong was seeing Doyoung out. 

“Thanks for coming over,” Taeyong said, “It’s been a while since I’ve had a friend over.”

“O-oh, well, anytime. I had a great time.” Doyoung sputtered, tripping over Taeyong’s words. He considered him a friend. Doyoung quickly said goodbye and basically raced home. As soon as he shut the front door, he ran to his room and dialed Kun’s number. 

He picked up. “Kun, I have a problem.”


	3. Chapter 3:  Party Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back everyone! This one's a long one. Lots of stuff happens, so get ready lol. Quick TW: Panic Attacks and Child Abuse. I think I'm just gonna do one chapter a week from now on, too. Please enjoy!!

It was Thursday afternoon, third period. Doyoung’s calculus class was in full swing. The teacher was sat at their desk, grading papers. His classmates were working diligently on the worksheets their teacher had given them at the beginning of class. What was Doyoung doing? He was freaking out.

Earlier that morning, it was a normal day. Taeyong and him were chatting in choir, like normal. There wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, absolutely nothing. The conversation was smooth, they were talking about some rap artist that just put out another album; but then it happened. 

Taeyong suddenly paused. He was frowning in focus, then looked back up at Doyoung. 

“Hey Doyoung, do you want to maybe go to a party with me?” 

A party. Taeyong wanted to go to a party… with him. With Kim Doyoung… no way in hell. Doyoung wasn’t the party type and Taeyong knew that. He was the nerd who stayed home on a Friday night to study for a test coming up in two weeks. Plus, he wouldn’t know anyone at a party. All of his friends were like him. Except for Jungwoo. Jungwoo was a special case. Anyway, he wasn’t so sure about going to a party. 

But, Taeyong was asking, and it was hard to say no to him. He didn’t know how, but Taeyong found out that he was particularly warm-hearted, and decided that he’d take advantage of it. All Taeyong had to do was look at him, puppy eyes and everything, and he melted. That’s how Doyoung ended up going out more than he’d like to. Weekends spent at the mall instead of studying. Going to cafes instead of doing his homework. Sometimes he did manage to tell Taeyong he couldn’t go out. 

Just last week, Taeyong asked him if he wanted to go downtown, to which he replied, “I actually have to do my work this weekend,” Taeyong rolled his eyes, telling him to, “live a little,” Doyoung ignored him.

Taeyong did have a point, though.

Doyoung wasn’t used to not focusing on schoolwork. His whole life had revolved around school from the moment his parents found out he had a gift. Years of time he could’ve done what everyone else filled their childhood with were filled with endless classes, summer programs, and work. There were no camping trips, no visits to Disneyland, no summer vacations. He wanted it, though. He wanted to have fun. The only fun he was allowed to have was spending what little time he had to spare with friends. Actually, his friend.

Jungwoo was the only friend he had for the longest time. They lived right next door and had class together up until middle school. They did everything together. From reading, to sleeping, to doing their homework, there wasn’t anything they didn’t do together. They even promised each other they wouldn’t ever stop being friends. He could remember it like it was just yesterday. 

They were laying on a blanket in Jungwoo’s backyard on a warm, summer night. Fireflies were blinking around them, and the stars shone brightly overhead. Doyoung was on his side facing Jungwoo. He could feel the grass through the blanket. He also had a number of mosquito bites, but he didn’t care. The whole day he’d done nothing but work, so he was content to just lay down with his best friend and do nothing. Jungwoo was laying on his side, too. His eyes were closed and he was humming a song Doyoung didn’t know. They laid there for a while, hand in hand. It just might’ve been the best day in his entire life. 

They stayed up, talking about the future until the crickets stopped their chirping. They talked about what they’d do if they weren’t so focused on the things their parents wanted for them. For Doyoung, all he wanted was to sing. He loved singing. It came to him like breathing, even more than math and science. Of course, he got to sing, his parents let him have a vocal coach/piano instructor, but it wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted to sing what came to him, not what someone else wrote. Jungwoo on the other hand, wanted to be a designer. He’d go on and on about designs, clothes, and models. Anytime he went over to Jungwoo’s, he’d show him his latest sketches, and they were good. He’d never seen anything like it before. Unfortunately, it was just a secret between the two of them. The last time Jungwoo had shown his art to his parents, he showed up to school with a bruise on his cheek. The only escape they had in life was each other, so they wanted to stay together. 

Just before they’d both drifted off to sleep, Jungwoo made Doyoung promise. 

“Don’t ever leave, Youngie.”

He squeezed Jungwoo’s hand in response before slipping into sleep.

 

Doyoung kept the promise. That was why he was at the same school Jungwoo. He told Taeyong he picked it, but that wasn’t the whole truth. Jungwoo and him picked it together. It was a school they both could get into that had what they wanted. After they got in, there was no time for escape. Every spare minute was spent living. Making sure they ate, showered, and got sleep. The fun they had was waking up in the morning with energy to keep going during the day. The last time he’d gone out to have fun was for his fifth grade graduation. Jungwoo’s parents and his took them to a waterpark the day after as a celebration. Nothing after that. No summer vacations, no trips to the mall, and certainly no hanging out with friends when he had work to get done. 

So, Doyoung really wasn’t sure about going to a party, even if it was with Taeyong. 

“I’ll think about it.” He told Taeyong.   
He did think about it. It was a hard decision to make without consultation, so he went to Kun, his personal advice dispenser. 

“So, you’re telling me that you’re hesitant about going to this party with Taeyong because you think you’ll be boring.” Kun asked, eyebrow raised. 

Doyoung sighed. “It sounds dumb when you say it like that.”

“You’re right, it does, because it is. Don’t let your anxiety get the best of you. You’re going to hangout. Don’t you guys hangout?” 

“Not really, all we do is study when we’re together. Plus, I wouldn’t know what to do if we weren’t studying.” Doyoung frowned. He would admit that anxiety was eating away at him, but there was more than that. He was kind of… scared. Scared that Taeyong would see how plain of a human being he was. He had his moments, but still, he didn’t have a personality. It fucking sucked. 

“Maybe you should give it a try? You know how hard you’ve worked since you were born, basically, so just let loose.” Kun said. 

“But how,” Doyoung huffed, “I don’t know the first thing about ‘letting loose’.”

Kun shook his head and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Y’see, the thing about letting loose is just going with the flow. You don’t have to know anything, just let everything be as it is.”

Kun wasn’t making sense, but he’d try. It was his Junior year, and he didn’t have a lot of time left before college took over. He wanted the traditional high school experience. It didn’t have to be a rebellious teen thing. Actually… there wasn’t anything stopping him from doing it. A few dumb choices wouldn’t affect anything, right?. His parents didn’t need to know either. 

There was a chance right in front of him. He was gonna take it. 

He took his phone out, and texted Taeyong. He was going to that party. 

\--

Friday night, 9:30 p.m. Doyoung was basically vibrating with all the anxious thoughts going through his head. He offered to drive the both of them since Taeyong invited him, and Taeyong accepted. He arrived a few minutes early on accident, but he texted Taeyong anyway. Taeyong tells him he’ll be out shortly. But, it feels like hours while Doyoung waits. He turned on the radio, fiddled with his hair, kept checking his phone, he did anything to keep himself occupied while waiting. He doesn’t want to think too much while he’s sitting. He’d just have a panic attack and have to go home. 

When Taeyong finally stepped out the front door, Doyoung just about had a panic attack.

Taeyong was wearing light wash ripped jeans with a black belt. A pinstripe button up hung over the black turtle neck he was wearing. He was wearing makeup, too. Eyeliner and eyeshadow, and his hair was slicked back. Taeyong was absolutely bewitching. He really thought Taeyong couldn’t possibly be more attractive than he already was, but there he was, more charming than ever.

His heart was ready to leap out of his chest when Taeyong got into the car. Whatever cologne Taeyong was wearing smelled damn good. He could barely even say hello without stuttering. 

Without delay, Doyoung took off. He was silent while Taeyong talked. He was talking about how he had to fight Donghyuck about him not going to the party. Apparently it was quite the scene. Everytime he laughed, Doyoung’s heart skipped a beat. He was pretty sure he was going to go into cardiac arrest. Even just sitting close was killing him.

Thankfully, the drive was short, and they pulled up to a house with lights and music pouring out of its windows. Taeyong got out first, and waited until Doyoung was to walk up to the front door. At the door, they waited for a few seconds after Taeyong rang the doorbell. The door swung open. 

“Hey, Taeyong, glad you could make it. Who’s this?” The boy who opened the door said. He was tall, looked kind of tired. 

“Hey Johnny. This is Doyoung, my plus one.” Taeyong replied. The boy, Johnny, turned to him and said hey. He turned back to Taeyong and told him that the only rules were one, keep your hands to yourself, two, no drugs, and three, have a good time. Taeyong laughed then promised he wouldn’t break any rules. Doyoung wouldn’t either, at least he’d try to. Rule three was a tough one for him. 

Once they were inside, he was maybe regretting his choice. There were people everywhere, and the music was louder than anything he’d ever heard. A majority of the crowd was dancing, leaving little to no room to move, but Taeyong was weaving through them effortlessly. He lead them to a less crowded spot. It was a dining room. Everyone was socializing. This definitely was a bad idea. 

Taeyong left his side for a second and returned with two cups in his hand. He passed one to Doyoung, assuring him it wasn’t alcohol. Taeyong led them around the house for a while until they found a quieter place to sit down. 

“You look nervous, Doyoung. What’s happening?” Taeyong asked, looking concerned. 

“I’m not nervous. Just… overwhelmed. I’ve never been to a party before.” He replied. He took a sip of his drink, some generic cola, to avoid looking at Taeyong. 

“Really? Well, I can tell you they’re not that great. Sitting around doing stupid stuff with drunk teenagers isn’t exactly exciting, especially when you’re the one who has to keep watch on them.” Taeyong grinned. 

He listened as Taeyong told him about the stupid adventures he had with his friends back in Seoul. Once, they went out to a karaoke place they’d never been to before. It was standard karaoke, rent a room, sing your heart out, order snacks; but they sold alcohol. Somehow, one of his friends managed to get the lady at the front to give them some soju. Taeyong didn’t drink any, but his friends went to town on it. His friends were fighting over microphones, fighting over songs to pick, and just absolutely destroying the place. They got kicked out soon after and had to pay for the damage they did. 

While Doyoung didn’t have any stories like Taeyong’s, he did have interesting tales about him and Jungwoo’s rebellious streak freshman year. They snuck out and stole his mom’s car and stayed out the whole night. They went to a diner and got milkshakes, drove to an empty parking to watch the stars for a few hours, and then went home. They never got caught, thankfully. They’d be buried six feet under if they did. 

An hour later, they were hanging out with Johnny and his friends. A Japanese kid named Yuta, some guy Jaehyun, and Taeil. He stuck with Taeil while Taeyong socialized with the other boys. He was glad Taeil was there. Taeil was always calm and relaxed, unlike the three other boys with them who were making a ruckus. They were fighting over something, a watch, and were wrestling each other for it. It was funny, but it was getting to be too much for Doyoung. His senses were in overload, he needed a break. 

He wandered around, looking for a quiet corner, or somewhere where there wasn’t a giant crowd of people. Breathing was becoming a chore. He couldn’t feel his hands. If he didn’t find a quiet spot he’d have a panic attack right then and there. There weren’t a lot of options. The basement was definitely occupied. The first floor was crowded. Upstairs was his only option. He pushed his way through the mass of bodies, aiming for the stairway. Halfway there, someone stopped him to give him a cup filled with water, telling him he didn’t look so good. He mumbled a quick thank you then kept moving. When he reached the stairs he basically sprinted his way up. The hallway he stumbled into was quiet, thank god, but he needed more. The music and chatter was overloading his senses, so he ran to the end of the hallway and shut himself into an empty room. 

It looked like a guest room, so he guessed Johnny wouldn’t mind if he stayed there for a few minutes. He walked over to the bed right in the middle of the room and sat down. All he had to do was just breathe. In, and out. In, and out. 

His breathing was back to normal. He eyed the cup of water in his hand. He was too tired to remember that he shouldn’t drink anything that someone he didn’t know handed him, so he chugged it. Big ass mistake. His throat burned hotter than the sun. He choked halfway through and ended up coughing his lungs out. Of course it was alcohol, what was he expecting. He tossed the empty cup aside and laid down. What was he gonna do? Taeyong was probably worried about him, probably looking for him, too. 

He laid there for a few minutes. His head was starting to spin. He needed to go and find Taeyong.

He wanted to go home.

-

Taeyong wasn’t worried about Doyoung, he was absolutely freaking out over him. He turned around for a minute, wrestling Yuta for Jaehyun’s watch, and when he turned back, Doyoung was gone. Taeil told him he went to go look for some peace and quiet, so he took off. There wasn’t a lot of peace and quiet around the house, so he had to go looking in every corner of the house. The basement was a sea of people, and so was the first floor, so he definitely wasn’t there. He checked outside in the backyard, by the pool, and the front of the house. Doyoung had disappeared. 

The last place he checked was upstairs, so up he went. At the end of the hallway, he saw him. Doyoung was there, but he was fighting some guy off of him. Taeyong couldn’t explain the pure anger that washed over him. He literally stomped over to the guy and shoved him off of Doyoung. He fell over with a crash.

“Keep your fucking hands to yourself, Asshole.” He hissed. Before the guy could say anything, he dragged Doyoung away. Doyoung almost fell onto him halfway down the stairs. He pushed through the crowd and pushed through the front door. Angry couldn’t even explain how he felt right then. How dare that piece of shit put his hands on Doyoung. He didn’t even want to think about what would’ve happened if he hadn’t found him soon enough. 

They were at Doyoung’s car. Taeyong fished around his pockets looking for the keys before he realized they were on Doyoung. 

“Hey, Doyoung, I need your keys, where are they.” He said, turning to Doyoung. He let out a gasp when Doyoung literally fell on him, pinning him against the side of the car.

“Doyoung what are you doing, I need your keys.” He groaned, trying to get the boy to stand. Once he’d gotten Doyoung to stay upright, he took a look at him. His eyes were unfocused and his face was flushed; he was drunk. Taeyong cursed silently. He’d let a 15 year old walk around a party by himself and now he was drunk. Everything was just a mess. 

“Doyoung, I need you to focus for a second. Where are your keys?” He asked, looking Doyoung in the eye. 

“My… My back pocket.” Doyoung mumbled. 

Taeyong screamed internally. This wasn’t the time or the place for stuff like that. He took a deep breath and quickly snatched the keys from Doyoung’s pocket.

“Taeyong what the fuck, you just broke rule number one!” Doyoung snapped. Taeyong ignored him and opened the passenger door. He helped Doyoung inside, who kept mentioning Johnny’s rule, and put his seatbelt on. Doyoung complained about how uncomfortable it was and tried to keep taking it off. Unfortunately for him, he was pulling at the strap on his chest, so the belt stayed on.

Taeyong shut the door and then quickly hopped into the driver’s seat. He started the car, put his seatbelt on, then drove. 

He needed to get Doyoung home. His parents would probably kill him once he got home, too. There was no way in hell he was dropping Doyoung at home drunk. He’d be skinned alive. Besides, he didn’t even know where Doyoung lived, so they were going back to his. 

Doyoung talked incessantly during the drive. He said some pretty interesting things, too. 

“Hey. Taeyong.” He said. 

“Yes?”

“Why are you so pretty?”

His heart skipped a beat. Doyoung thought he was pretty? That was… surprising. He always thought Doyoung was one of the few people who weren’t so focused on his looks. Well, he’d never said anything about it, so he just assumed. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when the light in front of him suddenly turned red. He slammed the breaks, bringing them to an abrupt stop. 

“Owww…” Doyoung groaned. He wasn’t going to think about anything while he was driving anymore. Too dangerous. 

He drowned out Doyoung’s talking until they got to his house. He had to fight Doyoung about getting out of the car. 

“I don’t wanna moooove!” Doyoung complained. He attempted to throw himself back onto the seat, making Taeyong lose his balance. The both of them fell back onto the seat, knocking the air out of Doyoung. Taeyong scrambled to get off of him, and pulled him up and out of the car. Doyoung stumbled after him towards the front door. After he unceremoniously wrestled Doyoung inside, Taeyong shut the door. He turned around to be greeted by an annoyed Donghyuck. 

“So is this why you didn’t want me to come to the party?” Donghyuck frowned, gesturing towards Doyoung. 

“Yes actually. I didn’t want you ending up a drunk mess like Doyoung here.” He retorted. He walked past Donghyuck, dragging Doyoung along. Getting the inebriated teen up the stairs was a challenge. He kept slipping, tripping over his own feet. Taeyong basically hauled him up the stairs. 

He wasn’t sure how he got Doyoung to his room, but he did, and he was laying on his bed. Taeyong tugged Doyoung’s shoes off and tossed them aside. He kicked off his own, not caring where they fell. He sat on the edge of his bed. 

The whole night was a mess. He just wanted to have fun with Doyoung, see him have fun for once. It was the only reason he even thought about going. Doyoung needed to relax. School was a dictator over his life, and it was stressing him out even if he didn’t see it. Doyoung looked like he got an hour of sleep every night. Taeyong wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case, either. Doyoung worked himself to the bone. Of course, Taeyong tried to get him to relax. He invited Doyoung out to the mall, out for boba, out for anything as long as he was taking a break. 

Suddenly, Doyoung’s head was on his shoulder. 

“Wow you smell nice.” Doyoung said. Taeyong jumped when Doyoung’s arms snaked around his waist. Doyoung was getting really close. Usually Taeyong was kept at a distance from him, but now he was all over him. 

“Has anyone ever told you how perfect you are?” Doyoung asked, squeezing Taeyong harder. He really couldn’t believe what he was hearing. If he could see himself right then, he’d die of embarrassment. He could tell his face was redder than an apple. He tried to escape Doyoung’s iron grip, but he wasn’t letting go.

“Doyoung, let go I have to change!” He said. Surprisingly, Doyoung did let go. Taeyong bolted up before he could be ensnared again, then rummaged through his closet. He managed to find a pair of PJ’s. Now, he had to either change right there, or go to the bathroom. He turned to see that Doyoung was laying on his back with his eyes closed, so he opted to just stay there. Hurriedly, he got undressed and put on the PJ’s. When he turned around Doyoung was laying on his side, face in his hands, ears red. Life just loved him right now. 

He walked back over and kicked Doyoung’s leg. “Hey, get up. I have to move the covers.”

Doyoung shook his head. Taeyong huffed and grabbed Doyoung’s arms. He pulled him up a little too hard, and Doyoung fell on him. For the third time that night. He hit the floor with a yelp, and Doyoung followed. The wind was knocked out of him, and he could hear Doyoung groaning. Doyoung propped himself up on his elbows, staring at Taeyong. Both of them were still. Taeyong couldn’t believe how fast his heart was beating. They were both red faced. 

Doyoung moved, but not away from him. Instead, he ran his fingers through Taeyong’s hair. 

“Doyoung, I--”

“Shhhh, just relax, everything’s fine.” Doyoung whispered, smiling lazily.

“N-no, Doyoung, get up. I’m not sleeping on the floor.” He stuttered. Doyoung rolled his eyes, standing up. He flopped back down on Taeyong’s bed, rolling himself up in his comforter. 

Taeyong laid on the ground for a bit. So much was happening at the same time. His brain couldn’t keep up. Doyoung was being way too touchy and saying things that were driving him crazy. Doyoung didn’t like him, Doyoung was just drunk and confused. There wasn’t anything else to it. He couldn’t overthink stuff like this. It always ended up with him getting hurt. 

He stood up. Doyoung was tangled in his comforter on the other side of the bed. Taeyong laid down, his back facing Doyoung. 

He decided sleeping was his best bet for escaping anymore craziness, so he closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4: Split

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is late and shorter than the rest. I lost inspiration, but was determined to keep this going until the end. Please leave a comment and kudos if you want me to continue Polarized, leave some feedback, and enjoy!

It was morning. Golden rays filled the room, casting everything in a thick, warm glow. Birds were singing, filling the air with flowing melodies. It was warm, too, and wherever he was, it was damn comfortable. Sounds like a perfect morning right? 

Wrong. 

Doyoung had no idea where he was. He had a killer headache, and everytime he opened his eyes, the sun shone right into them. Also, despite being comfortable and warm, he was slowly burning up, feeling the sweat pool on his forehead. Where was he anyway?

Using a hand to shield his eyes from the light, he pried his eyes open. He was… pressed up against someone’s chest, someone who was wearing silk pajamas. Their arm was thrown over him, too. They were way too close for comfort. 

He wriggled his way away from them, getting a good look at their face. 

Taeyong?

Suddenly all the memories from last night came flooding back. All the embarrassing things he’d said and done, the stupid party, and the stupid things he did to Taeyong raced through his mind. He couldn’t believe he’d done that. First of all, the Doyoung he knew would never drink anything a stranger gave him. Second of all, the Doyoung he knew didn’t flirt with the boys he liked, and third of all, the Doyoung he knew wasn’t a stubborn little bitch. Well. Most of the time. Anyways, the whole night was a disaster and so out of character. Taeyong probably wouldn’t even want to see him again after the stupid stunts he pulled. He knew Taeyong liked his space, but he’d been all over him, waaaay too touchy feely for the both of them. 

He sat up, looking down at Taeyong. Damnit. How in the hell could he embarrass himself in front of him. Normally, he couldn’t care less what anyone thought of him, but this was Taeyong. The adonis who just happened to be kind enough to even talk to Doyoung after he’d been a total ass. The guy who genuinely wanted to be friends with him, not just asking him for the homework and favors. The guy who gave him the same caring look that Kun and Jungwoo did. 

He pushed himself off the bed. He searched around for his keys, finding them on Taeyong’s desk. His shoes were underneath it. Quickly, he grabbed his shoes and made for the door. Throwing one last glance at Taeyong, he sighed. He would give him some space, and himself some space to think about what the hell is going on inside his mind. 

He left quietly, not even making a sound as he shut the front door. The drive home seemed longer than normal. Every light was red when he got there. People were crossing the streets. Everyone was driving more slow than they normally did. Something was wrong. Maybe it was him?

He was in the middle of an emotional crisis, as he liked to call it. On a rare occasion did he have them. Like his freshman year, this girl Taeyeon asked him to homecoming with her, and he’d panicked. His immediate response was, “NO!!” causing an uproar of gossip and rumors to spread. There was no way that Taeyeon wanted to go to a dance with a nerd like him, it just wasn’t allowed. She was way too pretty for him anyways, so he’d save her the trouble of being made fun of by saying no. 

Of course, that’s not what happened at all. Taeyeon was the butt of everyone’s joke the rest of the week, and there was a lot of unwanted attention on him. It was his fault that Taeyeon was being embarrassed by the whole school, and he needed to apologize. But, there was no way she’d ever talk to him ever again. Finding a way to apologize was one of his last big emotional crises. He didn’t talk about the last one. Let’s just say that he received too much unwanted attention on Valentine's day last year. 

Doyoung was used to dealing with emotional crises when they came, but this one was different. His emotions were all muddled and confusing. To be completely 100% honest, he knew he was catching feelings, but he didn't know why. There were tons of boys and girls at their school like Taeyong. Good-looking, smart, and nice. If he fell for everyone he knew that was like Taeyong, he’d be in love with quite a few people. Yet, Taeyong was different. Maybe it was his soft eyes, and the way he looked at Doyoung when he thought he wasn’t paying attention. It could’ve been the way he smiled at Doyoung with a different feeling than the ones he gave everyone else. Maybe it was the way he genuinely cared to ask how he was doing. Asked if he was feeling okay. Questions that were simply tossed at him by other friends and at home. Maybe he was just getting too caught up in Taeyong’s kindness. 

Out of all the people he had to fall for, Mr. Perfect took the cake. Taeyong made him confused, conflicted, skeptical, frustrated, dazed, etc,. On top of all that, anything he did made his stupid heart take off, which was annoying as hell by the way. He could just be sitting in class, doing his work, minding his own business, and Taeyong could just say his name and suddenly, he couldn’t hear him over the pounding of his own heart. He couldn’t meet his eyes until he knew his face didn’t look like he’d been sunburned. 

He talked to Kun and Taeil about it a few times, too. Kun just kept beating around the bush and told him to, “open his eyes,” which didn’t help. What was he not seeing? The picture was crystal clear, Doyoung was just misinterpreting Taeyong’s kindness and needed to stop before he got in over his head. Taeil just told him to just follow his heart, but he couldn’t do that. Taeyong wasn’t interested in him and he wasn’t in the mood to get his heart broken. 

Without any real advice, he was stuck. The only thing he could think to do was to put some space in between them. 

\--

 

Doyoung was ignoring Taeyong, and he was clueless as to why. When he’d woken up, Doyoung was gone, and no matter how many times he called or texted, he didn’t answer. He was just hoping it was because he was hungover and was resting up, but on Sunday there was still no response. He couldn’t think of a single reason why Doyoung would be avoiding him except that he might’ve been embarrassed about the whole situation. Taeyong didn’t really care, Donghyuck was the most eccentric human being on the planet, so he’s learned not to judge. He wanted to tell Doyoung that it wasn’t a big deal, that it shouldn’t even matter, but he was given the silent treatment. Even at school.

Monday was supposed to be a normal day. He went to his Biology class like normal, taking notes and doing his best to absorb the information the teacher was presenting. When he walked into World History, he was expecting to be able to have a conversation with Doyoung, but he couldn’t even look him in the eye. Whatever was going on in Doyoung’s head was confusing the hell out of him, so he kept trying. That ended up in a bunch of one sided conversations. The same thing happened in Music Theory. 

So indeed, he was being given the silent treatment. What for, he didn’t know, but whatever it was, he’d let Doyoung think it over. There was no use in chasing him for an answer he wasn’t ready to give. Yet, Taeyong was still so curious. 

He knew there was something about the way Doyoung acted around him. When they’d first met, Doyoung was jaded over, strict, and unmoving. It seemed like he didn’t know what the word relax meant, but when he opened up, it was like he just took a step back and let everything fall off his shoulders. Somehow he convinced Doyoung to go out, which he probably didn’t ever do. Doyoung cracked jokes and smiled a whole lot more when the air was cleared. Doyoung let loose when he was around, and it was endearing. To think that someone as simple as him could get Doyoung to soften his edges even in the slightest bit was… touching? 

Normally, Taeyong was a background character, like he wanted. He didn’t have anything to do with a lot of people, and everyone stayed away from him. Life was simple. There was no drama, no getting attached, and no possibility of getting caught up in anything. But with Doyoung, it was different. 

He wouldn’t even allow himself to be distracted by someone like he was with Doyoung back in Seoul, but he couldn’t help himself. Doyoung was different in some way, he couldn’t say how he knew, but he did. He wanted him around, and he was always thinking about him. Plus, Doyoung was attentive, always listening to what he had to say. He was kind, going out of his way to do things for Taeyong even when he didn’t need him to. Doyoung was all sorts of perfect. The icing on the cake were Doyoung’s looks. He was the perfect balance between handsome and beautiful. He didn’t know how anyone could be so charming, much less the whole package. But, he couldn’t let himself get swept up in emotions. It was dangerous, and he couldn’t afford to slip up anytime soon. So, he decided that he’d give them some space to think. Doyoung already set them up for it, so he’d give him what he wanted.


	5. Chapter 5: Together Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry I didn't post for like two weeks. I was on Spring Break and busy being depressed lol. This ones a cute one imo, so hope y'all like it!! Thank you, and enjoy!!!!!

They haven’t talked for a week. Any words exchanged between them were simply formalities, occasional greetings and words shared in order to please their teachers’ insatiable need for partner work. It was like they didn’t even know each other anymore, like it was Taeyong’s first week all over again. 

He didn’t mind, though. He still had Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun to talk to. In fact, he became closer friends with them now that all his time wasn’t being occupied by Doyoung, especially Yuta. They spent a lot of their time after school together, playing games, talking, and studying. They even went shopping, the other day, since his wardrobe didn’t really fit in with the fashion around here. Apparently, his street fashion was too eye-catching for the states. 

Getting closer to Yuta meant he could trust him enough to tell him about his problems, especially the one plaguing him at the moment. He was stuck, he didn’t know where to go, and needed a second opinion, so he told Yuta everything.

“I’m just so lost right now, I know I need to give him some space, but I know that he won’t take the initiative to talk to me first.” Taeyong sighed. They were sitting on the giant couch in his den, but they were sat on one end, snuggled up to each other. Being close reminded the both of them of their friends at home, not shy of physical touch like their friends here. He was scrolling aimlessly through Instagram, trying to keep his hands busy while they talked. 

“How do you know he needs space? Maybe you just need to talk it out.” Yuta said. 

Taeyong frowned. “I… I don’t know, but he likes to analyze and think things out before making a decision. Just doing something isn’t his thing.”

“Yeah, that’s how he does it now, but it’s not working anymore, so something needs to change.” Yuta said, sinking down into the cushions, now instead of his shoulder, Taeyong’s head rested on his crown. 

“But what if he doesn’t want to change? What am I supposed to do then?” 

“Then you either wait for him to work it out, or you give up.” 

“But I don’t want to give up. I like him too much.” Taeyong mumbled. 

“Then you’ll have to wait.” 

“But I don’t want to wait… he’s taking too long. It’s already been a week.”

Yuta rolled his eyes. “Taeyong, you sound like a kid. Sometimes you can’t have it your way, y’know. You’re basing all your decisions on the possibility that he might not want to change. What if he does want to go about it differently?”

Taeyong paused. If he went to talk to Doyoung and he was eager to settle this… whatever between them, what could happen? Taeyong tells Doyoung that he has nothing to be embarrassed about, it was a night they could just forget about. Doyoung could either accept that, or tell him he’s getting everything wrong, and in that case, he might make Doyoung even more standoffish. Another thing could be he accidentally lets it slip that Doyoung is actually the most perfect thing in the world and scare him off. Fuck. 

“But--”

“No more ‘buts’, Taeyong, if you don’t make a move, you’re gonna wait forever to get it sorted out. Stop being so nervous, whatever happens happens y’know?” Yuta shrugged, and he was right. He had to stop overthinking stuff. It was a bad habit of his. 

“Okay… I’ll talk to him.” 

\--

Friday morning, he walked into school ready to march up to Doyoung and ask if he had time to talk after school. He had Yuta by his side, ready to walk into the library with him. The hallways looked normal, but he couldn’t help feeling like it was too crowded, too loud. He just wanted to get the day over with, and maybe talk to Doyoung. 

What he wasn’t expecting to happen was being stopped in the hallway by a kid taller than anyone he’d ever seen. 

“Excuse me--” He started, but was cut off by the kid clearing his throat.

“Sorry, but I’ll make this quick. Stay away from Doyoung if you know what’s good for you.” The kid growled, glaring down at him. Before he could say anything back, the kid was gone, walking past them. 

“The fuck was that?” Yuta frowned. 

“I don’t know…” Taeyong replied. That was weird. Who the hell was that? And why was he telling Taeyong to stay away from Doyoung? Was it a threat? Fuck. 

They kept walking to the library, keeping an eye out for that kid, but not seeing him anywhere else in the hallway. Once they got to the library, Yuta patted his shoulder and split from him, telling him he was going to support him from the sidelines. 

He walked to the back of the library, where Doyoung usually sat. It was a little alcove where no one else went to sit because it was hidden by the enormous, towering bookshelves. Sure enough, when Taeyong found his way through the maze, there he was. Sunlight was streaming in through the windows, illuminating the space, and giving Doyoung a golden halo. He was scrunching up his nose, like he did when he was focusing. His eyes remained trained on his papers until Taeyong cleared his throat. 

“H-Hey, Doyoung…” He said weakly. The nervousness was getting to him. 

“Hey Taeyong. Do you need something?” Doyoung asked, looking back down at his work. 

He took a deep breath. “I was… I was wondering if, um, if you had any time to talk after school.”

Doyoung looked back up, eyes wide for a second before returning to their neutral state. 

“Oh, uh… actually, I do, when and where?” 

“Right after school at the cafe on T street?” 

“Sure, I can do that.” Doyoung nodded. How the hell was this going smoothly??

“Oh uh, okay, then… I’ll see you later then…” Taeyong mumbled, turning on his heels and leaving. He bumped into Yuta, who was looking at a book in between the shelves and the alcove. 

“So how did it go?” He asked.

“Ugh, embarrassing, but it went smooth. I didn’t know I could be that nervous about talking to someone before.” Taeyong huffed. Yuta put the book back and followed him out the library. It was gonna be a long ass day. 

-

He was tired.

He’d been losing sleep ever since he went to that party with Taeyong. Too much happened, and his mind was reeling from the shock. Going to a party was one thing, but going to a party then getting drunk was another. He did so many stupid things while he was drunk, too. The whole thing was a mistake, and boy did he regret it. 

He was just ready to move one, but there was only one problem-- Taeyong. He didn’t know what the hell Taeyong was thinking. He himself had figured out what the hell was going on with himself, but since he didn’t know how Taeyong felt about the whole thing, he couldn’t just drop everything and move forward. 

He was ready to talk with Taeyong that day, and he was going to ask him to talk during lunch, but Taeyong beat him to the punch. He showed up, looking nervous as hell, asking him if he was busy after school. Doyoung wasn’t, thank god, so he agreed. 

The day flew by, classes moving by like birds on the wind. He was too focused on getting the situation with Taeyong over with. He was out the door and down the road the minute the bell rang. The cafe wasn’t that far, so he was there in less than five minutes. 

Walking in, he looked around. Taeyong wasn’t there. Of course he wasn’t, he probably didn’t sprint to his car like Doyoung did. He sat down and waited, trying not to be nervous. 

The cafe wasn’t very busy. Aside from himself, there were only three other people there. The barista behind the counter was tapping away idly at their phone, busying themselves since there weren’t any customers coming in. 

Doyoung loved this cafe. The interior was decorated with soft lighting, soft colors and calming music. On occasion, they’d put up fairy lights around the shop, making the room glow magically. They had a reading knook, filled with books for all ages. He used to come here to study all the time, but since he’d befriended Taeyong, it became their go to hangout, and they didn’t do much studying when they hung out, even if they meant to. 

Doyoung sighed, pulling out his phone. He typed out a quick message telling Taeyong he was there, and went to scroll through Instagram. There wasn’t a lot to look at, just pictures from famiy and friends, the occasional post from a celebrity he happened to follow. He just never got into social media like everyone else did. It was just something he looked at when he had nothing to do, and he never posted anything. He never had the time anyway. 

The shop’s doorbell jingled, and when he looked up, there was Taeyong. He looked like instead of driving he ran all the way there. He shuffled over, sitting down with a huff. 

“Sorry, did you wait long?” Taeyong shrugged his bag off his shoulder, letting it fall onto the ground. 

“No.” He said. Taeyong didn’t say anything, just focused on catching his breath. 

They sat in silence for a minute before they both decided to speak.

“I--”  
“So--”

He gestured for Taeyong to go first. “Go ahead.”

“I…” Taeyong began, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I never should’ve invited you to that party, I won’t let anything like that happen again.”

“No, Taeyong. You don’t have to apologize, it was my fault. I made a stupid mistake. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Doyoung shook his head. “I need to apologize. I just took off without saying anything and didn’t talk to you for a week, that was a dick move, so, i’m sorry, Taeyong.”

Taeyong didn’t say anything. He sat staring at Doyoung before dropping his eyes down to the table, frowning. 

“Doyoung. You’re a dumbass.” Taeyong finally sighed. 

“I know… and I’ll make up for it, in any way you want me to.” He agreed. 

“Then…” Taeyong mumbled, “I wanna know what you were thinking, an explanation or something.”

Now it was his turn to sigh. What was he supposed to say, he was embarrassed because he was vulnerable in front of Taeyong and he’s been tripping over stupid emotions he doesn’t deal with well? That was basically a confession, there was no way he was gonna do that.

“U-uh, well… I was just… I thought you’d be annoyed that I ruined your night.” He lied. Well, it wasn’t really a lie, just a slight truth. He did worry about ruining Taeyong’s time at the party, and he was worrying while he was there, drunk off of a stupid cup of vodka. 

“I couldn’t ever be annoyed when you needed help. I’m not like that, you know that.”

“Yeah, I do, but…” Doyoung frowned. Anxiety fucking sucks.

“Well… are we good now? I can tell you just want this to be over.” Taeyong said, looking back up at Doyoung. There was a light in his eyes, shining with hope and something else. Of course they were good. 

“Yeah.” Doyoung smiled. Taeyong’s face slowly broke into a smile, too. He missed seeing Taeyong happy like that. Genuine, not just smiling to smile, not smiling to seem happy, just smiling because he was happy. 

They stayed at the cafe and talked for an hour, talking about all the stuff that happened during the week that they didn’t share. His heart skipped every time Taeyong let out a laugh. It was a bubbly, airy sound, and he couldn’t get enough of it. 

When they finally left, Taeyong surprised him with a hug. It was warm, sending a tingly feeling all across his skin, making him feel like he was floating. He hugged him back, letting himself relax into the embrace. He could smell Taeyong’s vanilla cologne. He hoped Taeyong couldn’t feel his heart beating a mile a minute, he’d die of embarrassment if he did. If only he could hug Taeyong like that everyday. 

Taeyong squeezed him one last time before letting go. He wished him a good rest of the day and walked off. He watched him until he turned a corner, eyes trained on his silver hair. His heart was still racing.

He’d definitely be talking to Kun about this.


	6. Stress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taeyong is stressed over something. Short ass chapter, sorry :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all, sorry for making you guys wait so long for this short ass chapter. A lot has happened since I've updated, including: graduating from High School!!!, getting a summer job, and starting College :) I also kinda slipped back into depression, but i'm feeling better and I'll make it up to you guys with the next chapter! I promise It's worth it. As always, I ask that you guys drop me some kudos and leave a comment, and thank y'all for sticking with me!!! <3

Taeyong was used to being calm and collected. He had to be since he had to raise Donghyuck on his own. Emergencies and changes of plans didn’t deter him, and he didn’t plan on letting that change. He handled the last call from his parents saying that they were moving them somewhere new, and he handled all the school business by himself even though it was stressful at times. He made sure Donghyuck was comfortable with all the change around them, so he thought nothing could get the best of him. He was wrong. 

He woke up that morning like normal, with his alarm blaring, screaming for him to get up and get ready for school. The alarm was quickly silenced, and the phone opened. Taeyong scanned through his notifications, passing over the many twitter, instagram, and line notifications peppering the screen. When he got to the bottom of the bar he wasn’t expecting to see 3 missed calls along with 2 voicemails. Seeing who they were from, made his blood turn to ice. 

His parents.

Normally, he’d sigh and see what they wanted, but after listening to the voicemails, he felt a wave of nausea wash over him. They were coming to the states on business and wanted to visit them while they were there. 

The last time Taeyong had seen them together was about four years ago, when they accidentally both stopped by the house during winter break. It wasn’t a pretty sight, and he didn’t want a repeat of it, especially around Donghyuck. He would have to find a way to get Donghyuck out of the house when they came over that weekend. 

When he went to make sure Donghyuck was up, he lingered in the room for a minute. 

“Hyuck, do you have any plans for the weekend?” He asked. 

“Yeah, we’re going to sleepover at Mark’s and go hiking.” Donghyuck nodded. Thank goodness. 

Taeyong stepped out of the room, but peeked through the door. “Okay, let me know if anything changes.”

He tried to be as composed as possible the rest of the morning. He had to be. Donghyuck had to get ready, have breakfast, and get to school, so he didn’t have time to freak out. So, he sucked it up and went to wash up. After a quick shower, brushing his teeth, and going through his facial routine, he went downstairs to make Donghyuck breakfast. The boy was already downstairs, though. He was eating a bowl of cereal Taeyong doesn’t remember buying.

“Hyung I forgot to tell you, Mark is picking me up today.” Donghyuck said when he saw him walk in. 

“Oh? Okay, that’s… okay. Great, just don’t be late.” Taeyong sighed, turning to go back upstairs. Since his morning was basically free then, he had to make himself busy. He got dressed as his mind flitted about. He had a number of things to do. He could study, go on a walk, make himself a nice breakfast, or something else distracting, but most of those things needed him to focus first, and there was no way he could focus on anything right then. He sat down on his bed, now fully dressed, and sighed. What was something he could do without focusing? It had to be something that came to him as easy as breathing. 

He stood up and grabbed his bag. He’d go practice his singing. He was in the car and halfway to school before his mind could catch up. He couldn’t imagine why didn’t think of it first. Singing was his go-to, besides cleaning. 

The hallways were nearly empty when he arrived. Only a few students, all walking hurriedly, were there. He made his way to the music hallway and prayed no one was using the practice rooms. There was only one being used when he got there and whoever it was was practicing guitar. 

He stepped into one of the rooms, flicking the lights on and closing the door after him. There was a short, black piano inside, a music stand, and a few chairs. He pushed them all to the side and placed his bag on the piano bench. He dug his music folder out and placed it on the piano, then sat down. He pressed down a key, and Middle C rang through the air. He hummed the pitch and then sang through the scale. He did this a couple of times, raising the pitch by a half-step each time he finished the scale. After the small warm up, he took a piece out of his folder, Joy and Woe Are Woven Fine, for Chamber choir. The song was nice, but he wasn’t too huge a fan. It wasn’t his style of classical. It was an art song, a poem set to music, and whoever wrote the music for it wrote it in a weird key. Sure, it was sort of pretty with the flowing high notes of the sopranos and the countering low notes from the baritones and basses, but it didn’t sit well with him. 

Shaking off whatever negative thoughts about the piece, he jumped right into it. He’d learned it pretty quickly, but he had to work on the details, like making sure the vowels sounded right and that he wasn’t singing in the wrong dynamics. 

It wasn’t long before he couldn’t find anything else to nit-pick about. There wasn’t a lot in the first place, so he moved onto another song. This one, Heyr Himna Smidur, an icelandic hymn, was his favorite piece. It wasn’t for chamber though, it was for the men’s choir. They did a lot of different styles in men’s choir compared to Chamber. Aside from the hymn, they had a jazz piece, an acapella piece, and a pop piece. He really liked the variety in contrast to just singing classical stuff. 

Like the last song, he didn’t have much to fix and ended up half-heartedly singing through it, occasionally playing along on the piano. He eventually gave up and picked up his phone, seeing several texts from Donghyuck and Doyoung. 

Donghyuck was telling him that he was out with his group getting breakfast, going onto say something about Jaemin snorting orange juice out his nose, but he opted to not read through the whole thing. 

Doyoung sent him a good morning text and told him he’d be in the library again. Maybe talking with Doyoung would help him stay distracted. Quickly, he packed up his things and ran to the library. Doyoung was in his usual spot. He smiled at Taeyong as he sat down across from him, moving some of his books and papers off the table. 

“Good morning. How was your weekend?” Doyoung smiled. He looked less tired than normal, which Taeyong guessed was a good thing, but it was kind of weird to see Doyoung in any sort of positive mood in the morning. 

“It was… fine I guess.” Taeyong sighed. 

Doyoung looked at him, concern glistening in his eyes. “Did something happen?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it, don’t wanna ruin your good mood.” Taeyong shook his head. 

“I don’t care, you look like someone just ran over your cat, what’s wrong?”

“Well,” Taeyong winced, “When I woke up this morning I had a few missed calls, and they… they were from my parents…”

Doyoung stares at him, jaw hanging and brow furrowed. Quickly, he shook his head then cleared his throat. 

“Did they say why? That’s weird for them to just, I don’t know, drop in.” Doyoung said. 

“I know it is. They want to stop by and have dinner, check on us or something. I don’t know what else they want, but they definitely have something else in mind.” Taeyong sighed. Talking about the ordeal was giving him a headache. He let out another sigh and laid his head down on the table. 

“I’m sorry this is stressing you out. I really don’t know what it’s like or anything, but I’m here if you need me. Just call or text, and I’m there.” Doyoung said, reaching over and running a hand through his hair. He relaxed, letting the calming sensation take over. It was a great distraction.


End file.
